She don’t want to wake up. It’s cold and still dark out. There is no nice way to get out of a warm bed when that’s what waits for you. Still the alarm on her cellphone screams and a thin hand darts out from under the covers slapping it into submission, when it dowsn’t work the offending object is pulled into her cocoon of warmth and nimble fingers manage to silence it. It is with a weary sigh that the pile of thin blankets heave off the couch. Bare feet touch the floor causing a full body shiver. She stands and shuffles her way into the dark kitchen one thin blanket still clinging to her shoulders trying to keep in the last vestige of warmth close. It fails. She stands close to the kettle willing it to boil faster.

When it finally clicks off she unplugs it and pours the water into the faded mug along with the dark powder. The first too hot sip scaulds her tongue and is still wonderful. She huddles over the cup breathing in its dark scent. Instant coffee is her life saver. There is movement in the living room she just vacated and she quickly pours another coffee and takes it through.

The room lies in tatters. The carnage makes her cringe. There are two bodies on the floor, one on the coffee table, one curled unnaturally on a chair, and one slumped propped up against the stairway. She doesn’t think she could stand dealing with upstairs yet.
She locates the movement, the body on the coffee table. Delicately weaving through the mess of bodies she makes her way over to it. It’s a male, one she knows at least, a stranger would be difficult to manage. He groans and she prods him with a bare foot.

He manages to crack open his eyes and sees the coffee she’s thrust into his face. He muttered some sort of prayer to some god or other, if asked she’s certain he wouldn’t know what he’d said. He rolls gently off the table and streatches face grimacing as his back and neck tell him of their opinion of his nap. He takes the coffee gladly and downs half of it at once. Then he too surveys the crime scene. This would take finess. First they needed asprin though.

She agreed and they raided the kitchen for the wonderful little white tablets and found several bananas as well. They munched on their early morning snack in silence. They no longer had an excuse to put off cleaning up the bodies though. She made another pot of coffee and he dealt with the living room.
It wasn’t pretty. He flipped on the overhead light and practically roared. The room filled with groans and waving hands. It was scarily similar to a battle field the groans and hands begging for a medic, a priest, a friendly face, anything at all to make those moments more bearable. They got her though. She was carrying a tray of coffee’s in mismatched mugs and had a bottle of miricle white pills. She was their angel.

Slowly the bodies became people, they managed to sit up, and sip at the heavenly darkness that was coffee, and swallow the promise that was asprine. There were no more bananas though. They’d survive.

She grabbed a trash bag and put it in the hand of the first to finish their coffee and slowly the bodies took to cleaning the battle field. Disgarded red shells that had one held beer were found and disposed of, paper towels, a broken plate, snack food. Everything informed them it had been a wonderfully successful party. But her face told them it was time to leave.

A few brave souls cleared the upstairs of redfaced couples. They descended the stairs and averted their eyes. Everyone knew what had happened, it lead to some rather interesting calls and teasing. She went and stripped the beds. They had a few hours to clean the house entirely.

He tried not to panic with her.


Mom and Dad would be home soon.

That had the bodies moving faster than the coffee or the lights. The house was empty and he and she were left holding the garbage bag. No worries though. They’d done this before, they had a method.

Hours later when the door opened the house was pristine, and quiet.

She was alseep on the sofa and he on the chair, and for once no one was the wiser.

For today at least.